She's A Man, Baby, A Man!
Written by: Javier Grillo-Marxuach
Transcribed by: Cintia Bueno
With adjustments by: Shay Fitzpatrick
Phoebe: Oh, I cannot believe this heat wave. Its 2 a.m. How can it be so hot when theres no sun.
Piper: Tell me about it. (Phoebe gets an ice cube and rubs it it on her neck.) The Cranberries are playing an animal right benefit here on Saturday and its gonna be a million degrees in here. (Piper notices Phoebe with the ice.) Uh, Phoebe... you keep making like youre on red shoes diaries and Im gonna have to bust out a can of man repellent. (Two guys are staring at Phoebe.) All right, people, move a long. Nothing to see here. Goodness. Am I going to have to hose you down?
Phoebe: I cant help it. Its not my fault. Im in a highly excited state right now. Not that Id mind being hosed down with water. I feel like Im on fire. Feel my forehead.
(Piper touches Phoebes forehead.)
Piper: Phoebe, youre burning up.
Phoebe: I know, tell me about it. (Piper gets a wet towel.) Somethings happening to me, Piper. Something really freaky.
Piper: Sweetie, Uh, I think you need to call a Doctor.
Phoebe: But I... I... I dont feel sick. (Piper hands the towel to Phoebe.) I just... I feel... I feel... hot, aroused. Uh... Ive been having this dream, Piper. This... Sex dream. Its not like I havent dreamt about sex before, because I have, you know. But this... this is different. This feel real. Swank penthouse love den, candles, satin sheets...
Piper: Okey-Dokey. I get the point.
Phoebe: But every night its with a different man... telling me that Im irresistible and then we... lets just say we could win the golden medal in the hugh hefner Olympics.
Piper: And this is a bad thing?
Piper: No. Its a good thing. Its... its a very good thing. Until I kill them.
Piper: Thats how your dream ends? You kill the guy?
Phoebe: Each and every night, Piper. I told you, something is wrong with me.
Piper: Theres nothing wrong with you. Its a dream. A metaphor for a extreme sexual frustration. Trust me, I should know.
(Prue comes in.)
Prue: Oh, good. Were decoding men.
Piper: Prue, what are you doing here?
Prue: I can tell you what Im not doing. Im not lighting candles. Im not getting a back rub and Im not running a hot bubble bath for two.
Phoebe: Hmm. Things didnt go well with Alan?
Prue: Well, see, thats the thing. Im not really sure. I mean, third date, hot night, romantic dinner, and then he drops me off with barely even a kiss good night. Im a little confuse.
Piper: Well, thats not necessarily an officially rejection. I mean, when they say "Ill call you" thats the kiss of death. Maybe he just got nervous.
Prue: Yeah or maybe hes just not interested. I mean, I gave out all the signals for him to move forward and he ran away. Men dont just run away when you give them all the signals, right? So, what gives?
Phoebe: Okay. Thats enough talk about men for me! I need to go home and take a long, cold shower and have a good nights sleep. I hope.
Piper: Sweet dreams. Dont kill anyone (to Prue) Dont ask.
[Scene: Manor. Phoebe's bedroom. Phoebes asleep. We see her dream. We can see a guy laying on the bed.]
Guy: I cant believe were doing this. Youve gotta be the most beautiful woman Ive ever laid eyes on. Either Im dreaming or Im falling in love. Oh, man, Im definitely falling in love. Where have you been my entire life. Youre irresistible.
(As he says that, the womans tongue goes down the mans mouth. Phoebe awakes and she screams.)
[Scene: Bucklands. Prue walks in her office. She gets a little mirror out of her purse and checks her hair and make-up. She walks back outside and looks at an auction item. She sees Alan.]
Prue: Ooh, Alan, hi!
Alan: Hi. Man, its hot, huh? Bad day for the a/c to be on the fritz.
Prue: Yeah, bad day. Uh, listen, Alan.
Alan: Hey, Davis, can you hold the elevator, please? Thanks. Sorry, Im late for meeting.
Prue: Okay, uh, Alan, just out of curiosity. Did something happen on our date last night to upset you... or something?
Alan: Upset? No, no, not at all. Actually, I had a great time. We should do it again. Ill call you.
Prue: The kiss of death.
(Morris comes in.)
Morris: Speaking of deadly kisses, I need to speak to you, Prue.
Prue: Sure, Darryl.
Morris: Everything okay?
Prue: You know, youre a guy. Maybe you can explain this to me. Why is it that one moment guys are sending out all these signals and then, the next, they just turn them off like a switch? What do you men want anyway? (They stand outside Prues office.) Well, its nice to see that while romance may be dead, chivalry isnt. So, whats up, Morris?
Morris: Four men have been killed over the last four nights ever since this heat wave started. I think the murders are gonna continue but I dont have any suspects.
Prue: Oh, Im sorry to hear that.
Morris: Look. You and I have got this game we play, right? You know that I know youve got a secret. You also know I dont wanna know what it is. But if any way it can help stop this ...
(He shows her the pictures of the victims.)
Prue: Oh my god. What happened to them?
Morris: Severe cerebral trauma. Although the medical examiner cant figure out exactly how. He also cant figure out how of the men were drained of all their testosterone. That's not something you find everyday. I need help on this one, Prue. The kind of help I think only you can provide.
Prue: Do the victims have anything else in common?
Morris: They were each members of a dating service called "Fine Romance". Ive already got the place staked out. But theyve got too many clients for me to watch and too many potential and too many potential suspects for me to track. If the pattern continues, somebodys gonna die tonight. I know it and I cant stop it.
Prue: Ill see what I can do.
Morris: I dont want you to get hurt. Find out what you can, slip it to me. The brass is watching me on this one. This cant turn out to be another unexplained case.
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Phoebe's lying on the couch with the fan going. Piper brings Phoebe some juice.]
Phoebe: Im telling you, Piper. Last nights dream was no dream. Or premonition even. It was real. I felt it. I was so turned on and then.. and then... I killed him. (she drinks the juice)
Piper: Phoebe, you didnt kill anyone.
Phoebe: I could feel his body shake uncontrollably beneath mine.
Piper: And now youre making me sick.
Phoebe: How do you think I feel? Im living it. I can still taste his blood.
(Piper puts the thermometer in Phoebes mouth.)
(Prue walks in.)
Prue: Is anybody home?
Piper: In here. Its not lunch yet. What are you doing home?
Prue: Morris came to visit (She sees Phoebe with the thermometer). Pheebs, are you ok?
Phoebe: Im so hot. (Prue touches her forehead.) 100.5 degrees hot.
Piper: But she wont go see a Doctor. What did, uh, Morris want?
(She hands Piper the files with the victims pictures.)
(Phoebe recognizes the men in her dreams.)
Phoebe: Oh my God. Its the guys. All of them.
Piper: Phoebe, you were dreaming.
Phoebe: Of each and every one of the victims? I dont think so. I could see them through my own eyes. Feel every touch, smell every smell.
Prue: How long have you had this feeling?
Phoebe: The last four nights.
Prue: Since the murders began.
Phoebe: Coincidence? I think not.
Piper: Well, maybe your powers are growing. Maybe you can get premonitions in your sleep now.
Prue: Or maybe youre just psychically linked to the demon on its wavelength or something.
Phoebe: Or maybe Im the killer. Come on you guys. Its not like theres no precedent. Piper turned into a werewolf once, remember?
Piper: A Wendigo.
Prue: Look, if you are psychically connected, maybe you can go to the dating service, touch some of the tapes of the potential suspects, see if you can get a psychic flash.
Piper: Its worth to shot. Then Ill stay here and see if I can find anything in the Book of Shadows
Phoebe: Im sorry. Wait a minute. I tell you that maybe Im some kind of man-killing demon and you want me to go to the bachelor central?
Prue: Phoebe, we have to do something. Otherwise someone else is going to die tonight.
[Scene: Outside Fine Romance. Morris and his partner, Smith, are watching some suspects in the car. They see Prue and Phoebe and Smith starts taking photos of them.]
Smith: Oh, man. Look the racks on those babes, huh?
Morris: Just do your job, Smith, okay?
Smith: I am doing my job, Morris. Im taking pictures of potential suspects. And if you ask me, those two suspects got a lot of potential.
[Cut to inside Fine Romance.]
Darla: Hi, welcome to Fine Romance. Im Darla. How can I help you?
Phoebe: My sister Prue would like to sign up.
Prue: I would?
Phoebe: Yes you would while I look around.
(Phoebe walks away from her.)
Darla: Well, Prue, today is your lucky day. Because we are running a special. One year, unlimited access to our internet and video library, with a money-back guarantee, for only $3,500.
Prue: 3,500 bucks? Okay, I could buy a man for that.
Darla: Oh, I can always tell the frustrated ones. Youve been having man troubles lately, havent you?
[Cut to Phoebe. She bumps into a guy.]
Phoebe: Oh... oh.
Owen: Im sorry. Im so sorry.
Phoebe: Im sorry. I didnt... I didnt see you.
Owen: Oh.. its not a problem... its not a problem at all.
Phoebe: Uh... uh... do you work here?
Owen: No, actually I just, uh, I just signed up.
Phoebe: I mean, its just that... you dont seem like the type that needs help finding date.
Owen: Ditto. Oh, um, Im Owen. Owen Grant.
Phoebe: Phoebe .
(As she touches his hand, she gets a premonition of him been killed.)
Phoebe: Uh, uh... I have to... I have to go. Okay, Im sorry. Excuse me.
Owen: But, Phoebe.
[Cut back to Prue.]
Darla: Congratulations, Prue. Your days of having trouble with men are over. See you at tonights mixer?
Prue: Okay, you know, for your information, I do not have man troubles. Financial ones, now, yes. But definitely not man troubles.
(Phoebe comes in.)
Phoebe: Were out of here.
Prue: She... you.
Phoebe: Okay.. its okay... its all right.
Prue: I dont. Honestly. (to Phoebe) Tell her.
Phoebe: She doesnt.
[Scene: Manor. Piper is watching Dan washing his car through the window. Prue and Phoebe walk inside.]
Piper: Youre back.
Phoebe: Did you find anything in the Book?
Piper: The book?
Prue: Or were you too busy looking at something else?
Piper: Uh, I was looking. You should see what I found.
(Prue and Phoebe look out the window.)
Prue: Oh, I see what you found, all right. Great tan, nice body.
Piper: (reading the Book of Shadows) "When a witch renounces all human emotions and makes a pact with darkness to protect herself from heartbreak, she becomes a Succubus... a sexual predator."
Phoebe: Let me see that (reading the book) "She seeks out powerful men who become helpless against her magic, then feeds on their testosterone with her razor-sharp tongue." So, this monster is an evil sexually-charged witch?
Prue: Yeah, but its not you, Phoebe. Because you didnt make a pact with Darkness, right?
Piper: And as far as we know, you dont have a razor-sharp tongue. Heres a spell to attract the Succubus and destroy it with fire.
Phoebe: (reading the book) "A flaming death for yours truly"? I dont think so.
Prue: Well, we have to catch this thing, right? So, what if I cast a spell to attract it and if it turns out to be you whos attracted to me, then Piper will freeze the room and well go from there. Fair enough?
[Cut to the attic. Drawn on the floor with chalk is the symbol for male. There's lit candles around it and Prue's sitting inside with the Book Of Shadows.]
Prue: "By the forces of heaven and hell, draw to us this woman fell, rend from her foul desire, that she may perish as a moth of fire".
(Fire burns around Piper.)
Piper: See? I knew it wasnt you.
Phoebe: I didnt burn. Im okay.
Prue: (with a man's voice) Im not.
(They turn and see Prue as a man.)
Phoebe, Piper: Oh!! Oh my God.
Piper: I dont believe it.
Prue: We have a new problem.
[Scene: Manor. Outside Prue's bedroom.]
Piper: Prue, please come out.
Prue: Not until you reverse this spell.
Phoebe: Come on. Its been over an hour already. (to Piper) Do you think shes touching herself?
Piper: The book doesnt say anything about a reversal. Maybe youre supposed to stay a man until you attract the Succubus.
Prue: Well, Im not going anywhere.
Piper: Shh... (to Prue) You dont really have a choice. Im thinking we need to get you to the dating service since thats where the Succubus picks her victims.
Phoebe: Thats actually a really good idea. She could... he can sign up like the rest of the guys.
Prue: Hey, Im not signing up for anything.
Piper: Lives are at stake, Prue. Innocent men are going to die... were your sisters, Prue. You dont have to be embarrassed. Were not gonna laugh.
(She/he opens the door.)
Prue: How can I save anyone? Okay, I look ridiculous. Im wearing clothes from the ex-boyfriends pile. (Phoebe starts to laugh.) I have hair in strange places and I have penis. (to Phoebe) This is not funny.
(She/he closes the door again.)
Piper: Whats matter with you?
Phoebe: Im sorry. I couldnt help it.
Piper: Prue, you dont have actually to date anyone. All you have to do is make yourself seen and available.
Phoebe: You know, Prue, the sooner you trap the Succubus, the sooner youll become a woman again.
(She opens the door.)
Prue: Its easier said than done.
[Cut to downstairs.]
Piper: Okay, confidence. The walk, the talk, the handshake. Its all about confidence.
Phoebe: Sports. Men like sports.
Piper: And sincerity... thats the key.
Phoebe: But what really makes a man is the clothes he wears, the car he drives and the money he earns... according to Cosmo.
Prue: Okay, helping, youre supposed to be helping.
Phoebe: Okay. Lets work on your walk.
Piper: All you have to do is visualize a man that you admire and then you emulate him. You know, the walk will follow.
Prue: A man that I admire... all right... I got that.
(She/he walks and then does a girlie turn at the end.)
Piper: The man you admire is Richard Simmons?
(Piper and Phoebe laugh. Doorbell rings.)
Phoebe: Okay, Ill get Morris files. Try to put together a list of attributes the Succubus is attracted to. You two get the door.
Phoebe: Well, think of it as a practice run for the dating service. Oh, oh... I know. Tom Hanks... everybody loves Tom Hanks. Think of him.
Prue: Tom Hanks.
Phoebe: Everybody loves him.
(Prue and Piper answer the door.)
Dan: Hi, I didnt mean to interrupt but my freezer broke and I wanted to see if I could get some ice from you... guys.
Piper: Uh, oh, Dan, this is... this is... this is Manny. Manny Hanks. Hes my... uh... hes my friend.
Dan: Well, its nice to meet you.
(Dan shakes Prue's hand.)
Phoebe: (screaming from the kitchen) Piper, come in here, quick.
Piper: Okay, coming. Ill be right back with that ice.
Prue: (to Piper) Oh, wait, no.
Piper: (whispering to Prue/Manny) Hes a good man.
(Piper goes to the kitchen.)
Dan: Have we met before? You look familiar.
Dan: So, have you known the sisters long?
Prue: Im, uh, the brother they never had.
[Cut to the kitchen.]
Piper: What happened?
Phoebe: Oh, I just... I had one of those hot flashes, the Succubus visions. Piper, I think I really am psychically connected to that thing. I see what she sees, feel what she feels. I felt excited.
Piper: Excited happy or excited aroused?
Phoebe: Piper, shes in heat, okay. And so am I.
Piper: Well, that explains why you are burning up. Your libido must be connected to the succubus
Phoebe: Yeah, its like I have no control over.
(She gets a new flash.)
Phoebe: It just happened again. I saw egg sacs. Oh my God. I think shes pregnant or ready to hatch.
Piper: You mean, theres gonna be a whole brood of them killing men?
Phoebe: Unless we stop her, I think thats exactly her plan.
[Cut back to the foyer.]
Dan: So, Piper isnt seeing anyone?
(Prue tries to copy Dan's moves.)
Prue: No, not really.
Dan: So Piper is seeing someone?
Manny/Prue: No, not really...God. I would just hate to see her with a guy who, oh, lets say on the third date just runs away. Dont you just hate men like that?
Dan: I dont know any men like that.
Manny/Prue: Oh... ha... How about those "niners"?
(Piper and Phoebe walks in)
Piper: Ok, heres your ice.
Phoebe: Oh, youre welcome. Ok, bye bye. Take care. Tell Jenny we said "hi", ok? All right, good.
Manny/Prue: Were in big problems.... huge.
[Scene: Fine Romance. Video area. Prue/Manny is doing her videotape.]
Manny/Prue: You know, I think that its the smaller things that I look for in a relationship, you know, like... listen to your partner, kindness, respect, I mean, as far as Im concerned theres nothing sexier, nothing hotter than someone who respects him... herself, because, you know, if she respects herself, then she respects others.
Jan: Can I just say that you are really in touch with your feminine side.
Manny/Prue: You have no idea
[Fine romance. Reception desk.]
Phoebe: His name is Owen. He signed up earlier today.
Darla: Hm. Dr. Owen Grant.
Phoebe: Doctor? Hmm.. yeah. I guess thats him. Do you have any way I could get in touch with him? Its really important.
Darla: Well, you could join for $3,500 and view his tape
Phoebe: Hmm... huh! Piper?
Piper: Hmm? Hmm!
(Piper freezes the room. Phoebe gets Dr. Owens file. Then she sees Dans files.)
Phoebe: I do not believe it.
Phoebe: Looks like neighbor Dan signed up, too... interested?
(Piper smiles. Phoebe hands her Dans file.)
Phoebe: Lets go.
[Outside Fine Romance.]
Smith: Boy, a guy could do some serious damage in there, you know? Just drop all the pretense and go all caveman.
Morris: Youre really something, you know that, Smith?
Smith: I know it. Thats what ladies tell me.... Man, its boiling.
Morris: Yes, it is.
Smith: I think Ill do a little investigating inside.
Morris: Oh, Whoa!!! No. Youre not going anywhere.
Smith: Come on. Its a mixer, right? I want to go inside and mix it up.
[Inside Fine Romance.]
Phoebe: Do you think the Succubus already got the Owen? I mean, what if were too late?
(Piper is looking at Dans file)
Piper: You would have had a psychic flash if we were and since you havent, were not.
Phoebe: Oh, there he is... hey, you know... maybe I should take him back to the manor to keep him safe.
Piper: You and him? At the Manor? Alone?
Phoebe: Well, Im just gonna talk to him
Piper: Well, we can just talk to him here. Im gonna go back to the video area and, uh, check up on Prue.
Phoebe: Uh, huh... dont forget Dans tape. (Piper grabs Dans tape and leaves.) Hi
Prue: So, what are you saying is my video will now be available to all of your clients. So what with internet acess, I should be able to meet women as soon as when?
Jan: Mr. Hanks. Something tells me that you could be dating as soon as tomorrow. This is one great tape.
[Scene: Later. Video area.]
(Piper is watching Dans tape.)
Dan: Im sorry.. I.. I.. I just... I cant do this.
Jan: Oh, come on. Your sister paid for this, Mr. Gordon. You can do it.
Dan: Oh.. this just isnt me.
Jan: Give it a try. Just speak from your heart. What are you looking for in a woman?
Dan: What do I look for? I dont know. Im an old-fashioned, I guess. I look for the girl-next-door. Someone with a good heart, good personality, and looks to match. The kind of girl that... when I leave for work in the morning... I wait just... a little bit... till she leaves for work too. Just to catch a glimpse of that long dark hair, that great smile, hoping that maybe, one day... shell notice that Im watching her. Then shell smile back at me.
(Piper just smiles.)
Owen: Do you, huh, do you wanna get out of here and take a walk or something
Phoebe: Uh, I...I...I... would... I would love to. Really. But... but I cant
Owen: You cant. Why?
Phoebe: Uh, its its hard, I mean, to explain, you know? Is it really hot in here?
Owen: You know what? Im gonna get you something to drink. Ill be right back
(She gets a new flash)
Phoebe: Oh, no... shes here... Piper!!!
Owen: Hey, whats going on? Are you ok?
Phoebe: Yeah. We need to get you out of here, fast. Okay? Follow me. Uh, if you could just stand here for a minute and just stay in my sight, ok?
Phoebe: Uh (Piper) Shes here. I felt her.
Piper: What? Where is she?
Phoebe: I dont know but shes in the room, somewhere. She could be after Owen.
Piper: Well, then get him out of here. Fast!
(Smith grabs Phoebes wrist)
Smith: Oh, where are you going, honey?
Phoebe: Excuse me.
Smith: Id like to have a little talk with you... in private.
(She gets a new flash)
Morris: What the hells the matter with you, Smith? Let her go.
Phoebe: Manny, its Owen... take him out. Fast
(Manny/Prue punches Owen)
Piper: What are you doing? Your... Your powers
Smith: Hey hey, thats enough, all right. Youre under arrest
(Manny/Prue punches him too)
Morris: Thats it. Youre under arrest, pal. Get up and cuff the other, Smith.
Piper: This is... this is bad. This is really bad.
(Phoebe gets a flash.)
Phoebe: Its getting worse.
Phoebe: The Succubus isnt attract to Owen, anymore. Shes attracted to Prue.
[Scene: Police station.]
Morris: Wanna me to release him? Your friend punched a cop.
Phoebe: Four men have died in last four nights, but none so far tonight. Why do you think that is?
Piper: Because of Manny, thats why.
Phoebe: And if he stays in jail, another innocent man might get killed.
Morris: I suppose you want me to release this, uh... this Dr. Owen Grant, too, huh?
Phoebe: Uh, no, actually. Hes still a potential victim. As long as hes here, hes safe. You cant let him out.
Morris: This is going to bite me in the ass. I know it is.
[Scene: Next morning. Manor.]
Manny/Prue: You know, Im surprised we men ever get anything done, you know. All I seem to think about is sex. Its like its nonstop. Really debilitating.
(Phoebe is with the thermometer in her mouth again.)
Phoebe: Tell me about it. Hey, did you fix the air conditioning.
Manny/Prue: Yeah, I just had to clean the filter. Air flow clog must have thrown the breaker.
(Phoebe looks at her/him)
(Piper walks in)
Piper: Guess who that was? Alan, from Bucklands.
Manny/Prue: Alan... wait? He actually called.
Piper: Yeah and he wants to go out with you again. So much for our rejection theory.
Manny/Prue: Well, what did you tell him?
Piper: I went out on a limb and told him you were feeling a bit hormonal.
Phoebe: 102.5 degrees. Probably normal for Succubus.
Piper: But not so good for you. I really think you should call a Doctor.
Phoebe: Piper, theres nothing he can do. Its the connection with Succubus. Its getting stronger. Probably because she missed her nightly feeding. She didnt get Owen or Prue. She needs to kill. I can feel it.
Piper: Ok, what are we gonna do?
Manny/Prue: All right, I got a plan. The dating service called. Turns out my video broke some kind of house record. 20 hits this morning. One of them might to be Succubus. So I lined up dates with all of them.
Manny/Prue: Yep! At your club. Starting at 6.
Piper: Oh, no no no no. Not tonight. The Cranberries are coming in for a sound check before the benefit tomorrow. I cant risk scaring them away.
Manny/Prue: Thats no problem. Ill just nail the Succubus before they get there.
Piper: Oh, youre gonna nail her, are you? Oh, so this whole man thing, this sort of short-circuits the old "maybe I should consult my sisters" wiring, now, doesnt it? Just step right in and take over.
Phoebe: Didnt start happening until she sucker-punched Owen.
Manny/Prue: You had a problem, I fixed it.
Phoebe: Oh, you bet your butt, you did. You nearly broke his jaw
Manny/Prue: I saved his life. Look, youre the one who told me I had to practice being a man, right? So I acted on instinct. And tell you the truth, the moment that I hit him, I felt powerful and strong. Like somehow that made me a man.
Piper: You wanna know how to be a real man? Look at Dan. Honest, kind, good heart. The type of guy who would risk being late to work just to make you smile. Not some bully who walks around thinking one punch is gonna change anything.
Manny/Prue: She learned all that, just from looking out a window?
(Manny/Prue and Phoebe look out a window and see Dan)
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Nice body, great tan.
Manny/Prue: Awesome truck.
Phoebe: You know, I think you really are becoming a man
[Scene: Outside P3.]
Smith: Ow, Man... look at that. Look at that. I can hardly even see out of that and you let him walk.
Morris: Try looking at the club for a while. sooner we catch the perp, sooner I can have you reassigned.
Phoebe: I just hope that the Succubus gets here fast because Im dying.
Piper: Okay, focus on the plan. Manny lures the Succubus into the alley and then I freeze her and...
Phoebe: And then he uses his testosterone-charged powers to fend her off until she burst into flames. I got it.
(Phoebe sees Manny/Prue)
Phoebe: Uh, did Manny just check out that girls butt?
Piper: Oh, God. This is starting to get wierd.
Phoebe: Its Starting to get wierd? Where ya been?
Manny/Prue: Hey... You dont recognize me, do you?
Alan: No, sorry. Should I?
Manny/Prue: Uh, I work at Bucklands with Prue Halliwell. Manny, Manny Hanks.
Alan: Alan Stanton. Nice to meet you. So, you know Prue, huh?
Manny/Prue: Yeah, we go way back.
Alan: Huh, Prue and I actually dated. Few times. When it comes to dating these days, I just cant figure out what they want. Its a real confusing time to be a man.
Manny/Prue: You mean, like in... huh, what way?
Alan: Like every way. Even opening doors or pulling out chairs. Some women expect it. Other women hate it. You never know which camp theyre in until its too late.
Manny/Prue: Which camp do you think Prues in?
Alan: Prue? The good one. The one that likes it. Shes cool.
Manny/Prue: I had no idea... I mean, I bet she had no idea. Have you told her?
Alan: Are you kidding? Probably scare her away if I havent already.
Piper: Wheres Prue? I lost her... him
Phoebe: Shes over there talking with A...
(Phoebe gets a flash)
Phoebe: The Succubus. Shes here. Im seeing what shes seeing.
Piper: What? Where is she?
Phoebe: Shes here somewhere. She just spotted Prue. Wait... isnt that the woman from the dating service? The one that videotaped Prue?
Alan: I mean, you know, Prue. Shes on the rebound. And I respect her too much to force the issue. I didnt want to move too fast. Although I think about it now, maybe I went too slow and got her mad at me. Some damn confusing rules, you know what I mean.
Manny/Prue: Yeah, Im beginning to.
(Manny/Prues cell phone rings)
Piper: Prue, shes here. Get to the alley, quick. Its Jan from the dating service. The one on the red dress
Manny/Prue: Right on my way (to Alan) Sorry, Alan, Gotta go.
Phoebe: Hi hi hi hi... Jan. Right? From a Fine Romance?
Jan: Yes... have we met?
(Phoebe gets a new flash and realizes that its not Jan)
Phoebe: Its not you.
Darla/Succubus: Hello, Manny.
(Manny/Prue tries to use her/him power but he/she cant)
Manny/Prue: Whats happening to me?
Darla/Succubus: Youre falling in love. You want me. You need me. Tell me Im irresistible. Tell me.
Manny/Prue: Youre irresistible.
(Succubus is about to use her razor-sharp tongue when Piper and Phoebe show up and Piper freezes her.)
Piper: Whoa! What happened? Why didnt you use your power?
Manny/Prue: I dont know. I was trying to use it and it wouldnt work. And then I felt like I was... huh.
Manny/Prue: You know, a little advice about men, Phoebe. When we fail at something, generally we dont like to hear that were....
Piper: Oh, no
(Smith and Morris show up)
Smith: Freeze right there
(She knocks him out)
Morris: Stop or Ill shoot. Stop
(He sees her razor-sharp tongue and shoots her)
Morris: Shes dead. But I dont know what was? You guys ok?
Piper: I think so.
Manny/Prue: (to Phoebe) Okay, how come Im still a man?
[Scene: Coroner's office.]
Doctor: Toxicology wont be back for a week but the preliminary blood panel did show something odd. This womans endocrine system showed high level of testosterone
Smith: Testosterone? Hows that even possible?
Doctor: Wont know for certain until the autopsy but if it turns out to be accurate, youve definitely got the killer youve been looking for.
Smith: Im telling you, theres something really weird about this. Its a real shame. Shes a babe.
(The Doctor leaves and Succubus kills Smith.)
Piper: I dont understand. It says to attract and destroy the Succubus. She will come to us and burst into flames.
Manny/Prue: Well, it came all right but it certainly didnt burst. And worse, Im still a man. What I dont understand is why wasnt I able to use my powers?
Piper: I dont know.
(She looks out the window)
Manny/Prue: You know, men are just as afraid of being rejected as women are. Trust me. Thats probably why Dan hasnt asked you out. Hes afraid youll say no.
Piper: Like youd know. Do you?
Manny/Prue: Im a guy, arent I?
(Phoebe walks in)
Phoebe: Guys, the Succubus. Shes still alive. I felt her kill again
Piper: Oh, no!
Manny/Prue: Why wasnt I able to destroy her?
Phoebe: We can still finish this.
Manny/Prue: How? I mean, she knocked me out, guys. I mean, really. It was like I was in a trance. I was weak in the knees and for a moment I felt her need not to be reject as though it would devastate her.
Phoebe: Great. Were dealing with a sensitive man-killing demon.
Manny/Prue: Well, we gotta be missing something. You two keep looking. I gotta go take a leak.
Piper, Phoebe: Dont forget to put the seat back down.
Manny/Prue: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
(Manny/Prue walks out)
Piper: Anything there?
Phoebe: No. Nothing at all.
(Phoebe gets a new flash)
Phoebe: Shes here. The Succubus... Shes in the house.
(They hear a noise like something broking.)
Piper: Prue? Whered she go?
(They she the broken window)
Darla/Succubus: I watched your tape over and over again. The things you said, I...
(Prue/Manny is on the bed)
Darla/Succubus: You cant resist me
[Scene: Manor. Attic.]
Piper: We have to find Prue, Phoebe. Or shes dead
Phoebe: Im connected again. Im seeing Prue. Shes alive
Piper: Where is she?
Phoebe: The same place the others victims were but I dont know where that is. God. Im gonna watch her kill Prue end theres nothing I can do about it.
Piper: Wait. Listen to me. I have an idea. If youre connected to the Succubus, then the Succubus is connected to you, right?
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Piper: You have to reverse the psychic connection. You have to use your power to project back to the Succubus to help Prue resist her. Whats the Succubus saying?
Darla/Succubus: Tell me you want me.
Manny/Prue: I want you.
Phoebe: She wants Prue to want her.
Piper: Ok, talk through the Succubus. Tell Prue that she doesnt want her. Shell never want her. Tell her.
Darla/Succubus: Tell me you need me.
Manny/Prue: I need you.
Piper: Talk to Prue like shes right in front of you, Phoebe. Um, tell her that she is not a man. Shes a woman.
Darla/Succubus: Tell me.
Phoebe: Youre not a man. Youre a woman.
Darla/Succubus: Youre a woman.
Manny/Prue: Im a woman.
Phoebe: You can resist Prue. Only a man is powerless against me.
Darla/Succubus: You can resist Prue. Only a man is powerless against me.
Manny/Prue: I can resist you. In fact, Im rejecting you.
[Scene: Darla/Succubus' place.]
Darla/Succubus: What? You cant resist me. Im irresistible.
Manny/Prue: Not to me, youre not, you bitch.
(Prue/Manny uses her/him power against Succubus and she starts to burst into flame)
(Manny/Prue turns into a woman again.)
Piper: Are you ok?
Phoebe: Im fine. And so is Prue.
Piper: What about the Succubus?
Phoebe: Shes dead
[Scene: P3. Prue is wearing a very sexy outfit.]
Phoebe: Oh.. Well, well. And I thought the heat wave was over.
Piper: Yeah, Prue. You look hot.
Prue: Im just grateful to be back in heels.
Phoebe: Let me see. Oh, yeah. You definitely have that walk down.
Prue: Well, well see if Alan agrees with that.
Phoebe: Alan? I thought you thought he wasnt interested.
Prue: Yeah, I was wrong. Just a little gender confusion.
Piper: Looks like you learned a few things about being a woman by being a man.
Prue: Actually, I did. I mean, were different, which Im glad about that. But were also similar in many ways. You know, we all feel the same emotions. Its just that if we dont communicate honestly, then we read between the lines and tend to get everything screwed up.
Piper: And sometimes its just up to us to open the door first... take a chance
(They see Dan)
Prue: Oh, you finally called him, huh?
Piper: I got some good advice from the brother I never had. Excuse me.
Prue: Youre welcome.
(She goes to meet Dan.)
Prue: So, what about you, Pheebs?
Phoebe: Me, Uh? (She sees Owen) I actually have an appointment with a Doctor Ive been dying to see. Im still running a little bit hot.
Prue: I see that. He winked at you
(Phoebe goes to meet Owen. Cranberries starts to play.)
Piper: Glad you could make it.
Dan: Are you kidding? Im just glad you called. Truth is Ive been waiting to call you for some time now.
Piper: Really? I never would guess.
Dan: You wanna dance?
(They join Phoebe and Owen and start to dance.)
Prue: Alan, Hey... Good to see you.
Alan: Im glad you called back, Prue. I have to admit. I didnt think you would
Prue: Well, I wasnt going to at first. But then I met this really nice guy who encouraged me to go ahead
Alan: Yeah? Who is he? I wanna thank him.
Prue: Oh, no. Ill thank him.... Cranberries.
Alan: Lets go.
(They join Piper and Dan and Phoebe and Owen. Then we see the girls dancing with their guys)
EndCharmed Scripts -- www.charmedscripts.tv